do we become what we repeatedly do? if that is true, then i’m about one cup away of becoming 50 shades of earl gray tea with a bold red target logo branded on my forehead. during the week, i wake up in the morning to check my email, my instagram, my texts. food network always on in the background as i edit at my desk. now with wedding season in full swing, i’m clinging to any sense of habit and routine that i can. i cling to habits i’ve formed to keep me going day to day as i’m traveling about the country, not in control of my plans but in submission to the demands of travel and the creative life.
on planes and in airports and in cars, i have a lot of time to think. i have a lot of time to process my life as it happens and sometimes i become the pessimist. i dread traveling so much some times and i when i get run down, i let my thoughts dictate my daily outlook. why do i dread it sometimes? a year ago, i only dreamed of doing this. the workhardplayhard habit is one i know best. but when the work part becomes too much too fast, i resort to my habits that i’ve formed in art and in life and all too quickly my dreams for pushing even further fly by. i’m talking about everything from finding new locations for shoots to reaching out to another photographer in the industry and learning from them to better my business in return. this little ideas of strengthening my craft. because the ones who are makin it are the ones who are adapting and ever changing. but instead i stay in my comfort level. holding onto dear life for what’s familiar and what will allow me to get the job done as well as i did it so many times before. that should never be good enough. ever.
i was watching this short film and it burst the bubble i’ve been struggling with lately. i need to stay open to possibilities. open to pushing to my craft. i need to continue to pursue this dream and not get bogged down by the details of pursuing it. i’ve chosen a creative life as my profession. and it’s what i love. so sometimes i have to let go of control and all hinderances. “because dreams are being able to nurture the unfolding of life without hindering, controlling, or exploiting.”
I’ve been doing the whole “non-traditional” work lifestyle for a few year now. Jim has been in it most of his professional life. We talk about this same struggle all the time.It feels as though you are never off the clock, and time to learn, evolve, or even just take a break can sometimes seem impossible.
However, what that truly means, is that you are pursuing your passion. Because, if you think about it, you can actually choose to step back, work less, focus on other things if you really wanted to, but because you subconsciously love what you do so much, you choose to work your ass off doing it.
Anytime you’d love to chat about the struggles of a contractor lifestyle, feel free to e-mail me! I’d love a pen/e-mail pal!