It’s birthday time. And this is officially my 50th post. In honor of both, I thought I’d expose myself a bit.

26 years. And 26 already seems so much different than 25. At 26, I’m not even close the person I thought I’d be when I was a little girl, dreaming being in my 20s. I’d say 26 is officially the late 20s and here I am. Nothing like I thought, but the happiest I may have ever been. And I don’t say that to brag or gloat. “I’m the happiest girl ever. My life is all together and blah blah blah.” No. I say it to mean that I am truly fulfilled. I am at peace. I am ready to let go of securities in my life and ready to embrace a year where I honestly have no clue what’s going to happen. I see no net and I am ok with knowing that if I fall, it will appear. I’m ready to test and I know the blessing have come and will continue to pour out. Faith like a child comes to mind.

Test me in this and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.  [Malachi 3:10]

A few years ago when I was in a fellowship program on Maryland’s eastern shore for a year, I started a birthday practice that one of my girlfriends also does. She had journaled about birthday blessings each year, as many as the year she was turning. This year, I have 26 blessings to count (among so many more but 26 is the number). It’s become a discipline that I treasure each year to take note and truly meditate on what I have versus what I don’t. It’s become a discipline of gratitude, one of faith, and one I’ll always keep because of the perspective it provides each year.
So here’s my birthday list. A list of big blessings from the past year. It’s just the coolest thing ever to do something like this.

o Continuing to build a relationship with my parents and extended family as an adult and friend and not just their little girl. Seeing them trust in what I can provide for myself.

o Seeing my brother become the incredible man that he is, taking the reins, and knowing I perhaps had a small part to play in that.

o Billy, and for being every bit a part of the story of my past few years as I am. For his endless devotion, our childlike giddiness for each other, and our love that’s become my glue and a solid foundation for being the best me I can be.

o Following a dream and trusting in the unseen path it requires

o A Chicago community and beyond of deeply understanding, uplifting, unconditionally loving individuals. My support and warm fuzzy feelings every day.

o Watching Jenna get married, celebrating that perfect union of her and John together.

o Maturing and being molded. Tears and tests. It requires a ton of pressure to someday produce a diamond.

o Feeling more selfless in my relationships with my family, putting forth a greater effort to learn from my grandparents.

o Waking up everyday in a sunbathed apartment, right in the heart of one of the greatest cities in the world and loving my wonderful roommate.

o Pointed life discussions with mentors.

o Watching my Dad continue to pursue his calling in an entirely different role/career than I would have ever expected. Seeing kids sit on his lap and slap him high fives. Watching him live out his dreams.

o Growing to understand my mom and as my ultimate role model, watching her regain sight this Thanksgiving and celebrating with her on a Christmas, knowing it was the Christmas she could see again. Building a relationship with her that involves two grown up women.

o Photos. Lots of photos. Lots of art creation. Happiness.

o Watching Christin take a risk and building her own business, owning a spa, and basking in her joy of following her own path, celebrating her engagement to the man of her dreams.

o Starting a business, fighting past my insecurities about failure, doing it, & now I’m here, in some ways beyond my wildest imaginations.

o Being a healthy girl, thriving and doing and going.

o Sharing in the passing of my grandfather, being blessed by the man he was and all that he left behind, including his old lacoste sweater that I used to sit on his lap as he wore it, playing with the tiny aligator, listening to his stories.

o Still living close to friends from college, particularly the “Queens of my Heart,” and doing life together in Chicago.

o Being embraced by Billy’s family and feeling as much at home with his as with mine.

o Being invested into by professionals in the photography business, realizing they’re trusting me and encouraging me to shine.

o Friends and past clients who have become my greatest ambassadors in moving forward with JQ Photo.

o Learning to be patient and taking one step at a time.

o Learning to be ok with the mess and just trusting it all.

o Being financially sound enough to invest back into my company, my equipment, even purchasing a my first big girl car to cart me around.

o Learning from Mark Pageau as my boss, taking his lessons as a friend and mentor and applying it to what I am now pursuing full time.

o Celebrating big moments in others’ lives with them – Billy’s job changes and promotions, the marriage of my dear Boonstras, baby Rose, Smaka’s 30th, Ramsey’s theatre, Kyle & Kadie, Mom’s new business, Leah’s senior year, engagements of so many friends…

There is more. So much more. But here’s a start.  I am so thankful.

In my birthday package from my mom she sent me a wooden box that has “color outside the lines” painted on the front and a pencil for my desk that says “Do one brave thing today…and run like hell.” Here’s to a happy year ahead where I can be present and share in all that life throws at me and others, coloring outside the lines and running like hell to brave things. Here’s to a year of creating every day, being exposed, and letting that continue to refine me.

26, it’s on.

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  1. Carrie Skillman says:

    You’re inspirational Jordan. I hope your 26 is better than you can imagine.

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